Why Adult Care is Imporant Part 2

Hi this is Anthony from Rosa’s Chante. Here is part two of the moving letter that I received about why it is important to put your loved one in a place where they get good care.

As time progressed, my mother lost more and more patience and she was no longer the mother I knew. She was bitter and angry that her life was being taken from her. My father’s health and mind were declining. She could not get away even for a half hour break because he would get upset.

Sometimes my mother would go sit in her car and cry. She would call and say she could not do this anymore. We would go look at homes, and she would agree to put him somewhere, but she always found fault with the home somehow.

Everything I remembered about my parents were gone. My father was a man in diapers and being very nervous and needy and often not recognizing me. My mother was angry and often took it out on everyone. She was bitter and she became mean.

People around her started encouraging her to get my father placed somewhere. She then started to think they were against her and she started pushing everyone out. Social services came and inspected the home. They found nothing wrong. They strongly encouraged a home for him and to offer her relief. My mother said if you love someone you stick it out.

Sadly, she never put him in a home. He had gotten sick with phenomena and died in hospice. He kept holding on at first and I broke down and said, if you want to be free, and if you really love your wife, you will let go. He died the next day.

It has been six months since my father’s death. My mother lives with the guilt of being mean to him in his final year. Most of the family, she pushed away, and now that my father’s gone, she wants the family back, but they are too angry at her for not getting him the help he needed.

I am the only one that helps her. I get that she loved my father and wanted to take care of him, but sadly, she did not love him enough to put him in a home where he could have been watched around the clock.

Anthony, what I have learned is real true love, is having the courage to put your loved one in the hands of a professional. By my mother not doing this, my father’s last year was awful, I saw things I should have never seen, and the family has been damaged. That is not love, that is fear.

Please encourage people that real love is letting go enough to allow professionals to care for our loved one. It is not giving up, it is gaining hope. Adult care is so important it can make someone’s last months so much better and save families. Please Anthony, make sure you let people know, it is not giving up, just common sense.

Thank you

Why Adult Care is Imporant Part 1

Hi this is Anthony Diaz and sometimes letters can say a great deal. This person wanted me to have this letter, though they wish to stay anonymous, their message needs to be heard. This will be in two parts on our blog.

Dear Anthony,
I cannot tell you how pleased I am that your home is so nice and caring and that you offer so much help to those with Alzheimer’s, dementia and other types of memory loss. My father had awful dementia. Along with dementia came the high anxiety and Sundowners. He was a handful. He was in his 80’s and had other physical ailments as well.

My mother, who is frail and elderly as well, took care of him. She always cared for him since the day they were married back in the early 50’s. He worked, she tended to the children, and to his needs and maintained the house. It was your typical 50’s household.

My father’s mind started to wonder quite a bit. My mother felt ashamed and did not tell anyone. She told everyone it was their imagination that my father had trouble concentrating, had sever memory loss. His communication was off, he could no longer do simple tasks like bathe and dress himself, his reasoning made no sense, he needed help walking as his balance was so off, and his behaviors were out of control. He would scream a lot, become agitated and often hit himself.

My mother insisted the doctors said he was fine, but everyone around knew he was not. Once it got so bad she could no longer hide it, we tried to help her as a family.  We tried to get her to put dad in a home like yours so he could get the care he needed, and she could have relief and take care of herself, but she refused.

She said “till death do us part” so there was no way she would allow anyone to help her. She eventually hired a part time caregiver. By now, the family was divided because she was so burnt out, she was angry at the world. You could not talk to my mother as her anger would surface. My father was falling more and more, and his mind and health declining rapidly. She still refused to put him in a care home and grew shorter with him.

Soon, we witnessed her yelling at him a lot, and losing patience with him. He would put his hands over his head and cry all the time. She was starting to make impossible demands on him, and it was difficult to watch it. Even the caregiver and home nursing stressed big concern; still, she refused to put him somewhere that would help her and my father.

Stay tuned for part two of this moving story about why it is important to put your loved one in the hands of a professional like Rosa’s.

Healthy eating for Seniors

appleHi this is Anthony Diaz. I must admit, on most days when you walk into Rosa’s Chante, you can smell the home cooking. That is because we know that fresh food shares a fundamental link with health and wellness. We look at situations like poor physical health, depression and loneliness that play a key role in poor eating habits. Many older adults who experience these conditions neglect their nutritional needs, and this can lead to more serious medical problems.

At Rosa’s we Manage a client’s nutritional needs by good menu planning, weekly grocery shopping, and diligent meal preparation.  Good nutrition is the first line of defense for older adults who are striving to maintain their independence as they age, helping to protect them from illness and disease. Guidelines for seniors include adding things like beans pinto beans, black beans, garbanzo beans, split peas, lima beans and black eyed peas.  Beans are counted as both vegetables and protein due to their abundance of nutrients. We have our residents eat whole grains such as popcorn,  rice, and whole grain cereals, breads and crackers. We offer fresh fruits and vegetables and offer any sort of diet restrictions to meet our residents needs.

Eating well helps our residents keep up their energy level, too. Consuming enough calories is a sure way to measure the energy they get from food offers their body the fuel it needs throughout the day. It is very important to feed our seniors  balanced meals that help promote energy and good health and at Rosa’s we take pride in make food nutritional and fun.

Chair Exercise

chairHi this is Anthony Diaz from Rosa’s Chante. Not doing any physical activity can be bad for people especially seniors. Keep in mind, some physical activity is better than none at all. The health benefits will increase with the more physical activity there is. An inactive lifestyle can cause seniors to lose ground and research suggests that exercise and physical activity can help older people feel better.

At Rosa’s Chante we do chair yoga/exercise. Dr. Tyler Woods, a holistic mental health practitioner comes to Rosa’s weekly to get our residents moving. She understands that physical activity is good for people no matter what their age. She also understands that certain limitations prevent a senior from engaging exercise so she has people participate in chair movement.

Chair movement/yoga helps improve sleep quality and improve depression, it reduce stress, helps control blood sugar, enhance respiratory function and improves balance. Dr. Woods says, “Not only does movement stave off health problems, but it actually adds independence and confidence to their life.”

At Rosa’s we know there are a number of ways that the seniors can participate in exercise. As with any activity, this should be fun and we make it fun and helpful here at Rosa’s. Make sure your loved one is getting exercise and learning how to sit and be fit.