Hi this is Anthony Diaz and sometimes letters can say a great deal. This person wanted me to have this letter, though they wish to stay anonymous, their message needs to be heard. This will be in two parts on our blog.
I cannot tell you how pleased I am that your home is so nice and caring and that you offer so much help to those with Alzheimer’s, dementia and other types of memory loss. My father had awful dementia. Along with dementia came the high anxiety and Sundowners. He was a handful. He was in his 80’s and had other physical ailments as well.
My mother, who is frail and elderly as well, took care of him. She always cared for him since the day they were married back in the early 50’s. He worked, she tended to the children, and to his needs and maintained the house. It was your typical 50’s household.
My father’s mind started to wonder quite a bit. My mother felt ashamed and did not tell anyone. She told everyone it was their imagination that my father had trouble concentrating, had sever memory loss. His communication was off, he could no longer do simple tasks like bathe and dress himself, his reasoning made no sense, he needed help walking as his balance was so off, and his behaviors were out of control. He would scream a lot, become agitated and often hit himself.
My mother insisted the doctors said he was fine, but everyone around knew he was not. Once it got so bad she could no longer hide it, we tried to help her as a family. We tried to get her to put dad in a home like yours so he could get the care he needed, and she could have relief and take care of herself, but she refused.
She said “till death do us part” so there was no way she would allow anyone to help her. She eventually hired a part time caregiver. By now, the family was divided because she was so burnt out, she was angry at the world. You could not talk to my mother as her anger would surface. My father was falling more and more, and his mind and health declining rapidly. She still refused to put him in a care home and grew shorter with him.
Soon, we witnessed her yelling at him a lot, and losing patience with him. He would put his hands over his head and cry all the time. She was starting to make impossible demands on him, and it was difficult to watch it. Even the caregiver and home nursing stressed big concern; still, she refused to put him somewhere that would help her and my father.
Stay tuned for part two of this moving story about why it is important to put your loved one in the hands of a professional like Rosa’s.